ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize