Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
