No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
