Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
