Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
