what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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