I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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