he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Text me some of your sweat
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
