I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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