its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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