Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
