Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
