Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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