Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
