I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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