Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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