I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
