I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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