you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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