party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
