doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
