well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
