I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
