Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i came on her dog
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
