there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
