Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
