If i come over, it means nothing
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I supernannyed him into submission
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
