Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
