my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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