she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
