i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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