You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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