using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
