I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
