You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize