So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
