but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
