Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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