He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
