I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
