Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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