**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
