So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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