you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
