dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
