Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
