I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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