I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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