all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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