HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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