Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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