And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
pray to the hookup gods
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
