and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
