im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
bring money and cleavage
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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