Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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