cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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