PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
