i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize