we're blogging at a bar
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
