So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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