its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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