I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
