did you get engaged???
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
