If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
